Monday, October 29, 2012

Times like these

My wistful mood is lingering. Much as I have tried to extinguish it and celebrate its demise into a fluttering ribbon of fading smoke, it persists in making me take stock of myself. It's not all bad, mind - that's why it's wistful and not just a bad mood.

I'm thinking a lot about the past, wondering much about the future, trying new things and just basically wondering where I will set my proverbial sails to next.

This photo was taken out the passenger window on the road between Flagstaff, Arizona and Las Vegas, Nevada. I applied a filter to it but even the original looks surreal.

I've had a number of incredible trips in the United States and in two weeks I'll be back for my fourth visit. People seem to place stock on disliking America - maybe it's the whole superpower thing. "The people are's full of rednecks...they all drive trucks...they're so bullish...they think they're the best..."

Ever since I was old enough to know I wanted something (around 7 or 8 years old), I've known I wanted to live in America. A lot of it has to do with the fact a very important person in my life moved there around that time but as I've grown older, and even with the passing of that beautiful lady, my desire hasn't diminished although my recent birthday changed my thoughts.

For the first time in my life, I feel I'm too old for something. It's too late to uproot my life and start again - finding a job would be difficult, leaving my family even more so. The passing of time has eroded my confidence and it is a bother.

I am a new day rising.
I'm a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight.
I am a little divided.
Do I stay or run away,
And leave it all behind?

Foo Fighters, 'Times Like These', One by One 2003

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