Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Let's do some math...

194. That’s how many people visited my blog in the month since my last post. 194 people that came looking for something and got nothing new. I shouldn't have looked at the stats, really.

1...month since I last posted about the flowers I stole from down the street. That day I passed countless trees in bloom and made a mental note to bring a camera along one day and capture the gorgeousness. That mental note was like a Post It that lost its stickiness and blew off at the first sign of a breeze.

56 times a day I think about an impending milestone for me, a big age number that has me baffled, petrified, ambivalent, curious and paralysed all at the same time.

7 days to go...

40. OMG.

It’s the reason I’m working too much and blogging too little. Thinking a lot and doing not enough. Going through the motions but not getting anywhere.

I am thinking myself into an existential crisis.

Should I feel different next week? Is it OK to reach this age and be happy with who I am? Have I done enough to justify this much lifetime? Do I need to start dressing like a grown up? Can I still wear my treasured McQueen skull scarf? Are crazy manicures no longer appropriate? Can I keep wearing neon jewellery? Do I need to get lounge pants and a robe?

At this point, if you’ve never visited this blog you’re thinking I’m a nutcase. I’m not, really. Normally I’m an average girl (OMG, do I have to call myself a woman now that I’m officially old?) who likes wearing clothes, listening to great music, baking and eating cakes and is generally in love with Melbourne.

If you’re one of the 194 people that I unceremoniously fresh-aired the last month, I’m so glad you stopped by and I’m so glad to have you back.

We're gonna come together, we're gonna celebrate.
We're gonna gather around like it's your birthday.
I don't wanna know just what I'm gonna do.
I don't care where you're going,
I'm coming home with you

Kings of Leon, 'Birthday', Come Around Sundown 2012

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