Thursday, March 10, 2011

The bold shall inherit the earth


Yeah, hi.

Look, I know this is your couch and that society has evolved in a way where humans normally sit on couches but I'm different OK? My body likes the comfort of well upholstered leather and I like how this arm has been engineered to provide a perfect pitch for my neck. It's comfortable, what more can I say? Whaddaya want from me?

Have I told you how hard I've worked? They don't call it a dog's life for nothing - it's hard work. It takes a lot of energy to eat your shoes, poop all over your yard and trample the plants you spent the weekend planting. The worst part is how you expect me to do this on only one meal a day. It's hard work. Capital H. Capital W. So excuse me while I rest my tired bones on your precious couch.

What? You're talking to me and while I hear you clearly and understand you want me to get down it's just not gonna happen alright? The sooner we can all get used to this situation the quicker I can get back to sleep.

OK? Thanks. Bye.

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