Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Open letter to George Michael

Oh George,

What’s happening with you George? Why must you keep disappointing me in the worst ways?

First you go and ruin a childhood crush by being gay. Not only did it shock me greatly – after all, I’d just had my hair cut just like yours circa Wham! – but it affected my understanding of the English language. At that stage I’d only been in an English-speaking country for a couple of years and gay still meant happy and jolly. You made me doubt my new language and hate my new haircut.

Then there was the demise of Wham! and even though I hated that useless exclamation mark, I missed you. Your solo career was terrific but then there was the whole toilet block episode. Oh George, why?

When I next saw you, the affair with plastic surgery had already started and your hair and stubble were just too precise for my liking and I found myself stuck on your Greatest Hits album, unable to progress to your new stuff. You see George, one too many disappointments and you started to lose me.

Now you go and do this and I’m not sure why. Is Kenny Goss not by your side? Did he not go to bail you out and bring you McDonald’s for your pot-induced munchies? Are you not still a celebrated song writer with a world tour about to start? What did it George? Can you not cope with the never ending maintenance on that face of yours?

I’m afraid this time you’ve come close to losing me for good George Michael. Take a peek at the URL for the story link George, it refers to a Careless Driver. You're the subject of puns now George, bad puns; I don’t know if I can keep up with the disappointments.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

....definitely a case of 'Wake me up before you Go Go'