Monday, September 18, 2006

Saggy knees and droopy pantyhose

Ever entered into a battle you know you’ll lose? I did this morning. From the moment it began I knew I was destined to suffer a major defeat but still I pressed on and it was alarming how quickly I came to regret my decision.

While getting dressed this morning, I selected a ‘vintage style’ pair of pantyhose. In this case, it simply means they’re a pair with very little lycra that stretch sideways to accommodate the girth, but not lengthways to accommodate the height. And here is where the trouble begins.

As I was putting them on, I knew there was going to be trouble. Any practical woman would have worn a different pair at the slightest sign of fuss. Not me.

Approximately 10 paces from my front door the pantyhose started contracting, dragging the crotch piece down towards my knees. By the time my commute was over and I had the privacy of a bathroom to compose myself, they were two-thirds of the way down to the knees and I was thanking whatever angel of commonsense helped me choose a skirt that falls below my knees.

Walking in these things was irritating, distracting and felt like I was taking part in my own potato sack race.

Why did I choose this type of pantyhose in the first place? I knew they were lycra-devoid so why buy them? I don’t even like vintage or ‘old’ things (except port wine and my grandmother) but was moved to try them anyway. Why? Because I’m a consumer and I’m not loyal to many brands, especially with pantyhose; so when these caught my eye, with their fancy packaging, pretty colour and reduced price tag, I just had to have them.

And now I will just have to take them off and put on another pair because they’re driving me insane, not the least of which because I could have avoided all this fuss by being practical this morning. But that would have been all too easy...

3 comments:

Jenni said...

I can't stand pantyhose...but you know who makes the best kind?

Ann Taylor.

They have this "nearly nude" kind that rock.

So, needless to say, if I HAVE to wear them, I only wear Ann Taylor.

SO worth it.

PJ said...

If only I could be committed like that to pantyhose. I'm committed to face cream, shampoo and tea but I guess I haven't yet found the perfect brand of pantyhose to stick to only one. I'll keep an eye out for Ann Taylor, thanks.

sahm said...

you wear pantyhose? I can't remember the last time I wore pantyhose ... I"m such a fashion dag :)