Monday, September 11, 2006

Grey hairs and polka dot shoes

When it comes to ageing, my single biggest fear is not saggy knees, distorted feet or flabby arms (although I do have mild cold sweats at the thought of flabby arms). What I am most afraid of is the mutton-as-lamb affliction, where I adorn myself with non age appropriate items in the hope of projecting a fresh appearance.

While mutton-as-lamb (let’s call it MAL) is obvious as hell on seasoned professionals, it can creep up slowly, starting with a pair of earrings or some coloured tights and ending up in a head to toe disaster.

My moment of MAL panic came yesterday as I was invoking the croc wrestling spirit of Steve Irwin in an effort to tame my curly hair. Overdue for a cut and colour, nothing short of wall plaster was holding it down so I reached for a lycra headband. Satisfied that the job was done, I took a closer look and saw a couple of grey hairs at my hairline, shining through the others before disappearing into the headband.

I stopped, perplexed. Am I allowed to wear a ballet-style headband over grey hairs without going down MAL alley?

As I removed the headband, slapped on a cap and resolved to attend to the hair cut and colour situation without delay, I realised my decision to ditch the headband because of my grey hairs opened up a can of MAL-related worms.

Can I still wear my lovely soft cotton bubble skirt? Will I be able to wear the fabric covered polka dot shoes I fell in love with? Is the perspex red heart I wear on a chain MAL-ish? Do I have to throw out my deep red, Chanel Rouge Noir nail polish? Will I have to give up my comfy low ride jeans?

For the short term, and for the sake of my sanity, I have chosen to let it go and keep the issue on close watch where I will no doubt ponder it further while doing my nightly tricep dips in the hope of staving off the dreaded arm flab. Oh and I will also be covering up those greys quick smart because I really like the shoes.


Anonymous said...

Oh PJ, I hear ya. Only on the weekend did I don a bright yellow ECKO baseball cap and thought, oh crap - can I really pull this off at 34?
The ballon skirt is fab, ballet headbands are camp, polka dot shoes are so cool, the girls from S&TC taught you well.
The only things you have to watch out for are a)cankles and b)bingo wings. You have neither.

PJ said...

Oh, thank you, you are so kind. Someone told me yesterday that you have to be born with cankles and can't acquire them through chocolate ice cream and donuts. Phew!

Still doing the tricep work though, one can't be too careful.