Tuesday, September 05, 2006

50,000 brain cells dead in one glance

There are certain things to which we humans should not be subjected. For example, skinny jeans made in sizes large through XXXL; underwire-free bras above a B cup; and pictures of a plastic surgery 'enhanced' Farrah Fawcett.

All of these things have the dubious honour of sending a person into visual shock and indelibly imprinting themselves into the mind's eye, preventing one from innocently walking down a street or flipping through a celebrity magazine without the fear of being visually assaulted.

This is a perfect example of one of those things.

I have tried to articulate how and why this shocks me so much, but every time I look at it, I sink further into a stupor and am unable to come up with anything.

This is an ad from a current magazine and can't be excused on the wackiness of the 80s where women routinely threw themselves into fabric remnant bins and called it getting dressed. This woman looks like she's been mailed around the world and savaged by a dog in each country.

I am also informed by a learned friend that she has 'cankles', which apparently adds to the horror of it all as it means her lack of bodily definition is extended to her legs where her calves meet her ankles, giving her cankles. In the words of my sushi girl: eeew.

Anyway, as I am at a loss to describe this monstrosity (and my IQ cannot withstand me looking at it any further), I have emailed it to the lasses at Go Fug Yourself. They're superheroes when it comes to this and I'm hoping they may be tempted to have a go.

(Note: The writer accepts no responsibility for any visual, mental or emotional damage caused by viewing the attached picture. If you're feeling particularly daring today you can click on the picture for a larger size. Go on, I dare you.)

No comments: