Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Do you really need those suspenders?

Have you ever had a moment where things just make perfect sense? When all of a sudden you understand precisely why you like/hate/love/despise something?

Well, I had one of those today when I saw a woman walking to work wearing suspenders on her pants, hanging down like Mary-Kate’s in this picture.

I’m not a fan of suspenders, even though I did once have a brief dalliance with a pair, but it was the 80s so let’s just forget it happened. Suspenders do nothing but accentuate one’s girth in the abdominal regions, even on extremely slender people and why you’d want to render them completely useless and have them frame your posterior instead is beyond me.

But this was not my moment of discovery: what I realised this morning is that I do not like generally useless fashion. This explains why I’ve never been a fan of layering, belts hanging half way down your thighs, ruffles, pants with crotches so low they reach the knees, and generally oversize clothing with masses of redundant fabric (again, reference the enormous t-shirt that is devouring Mary-Kate in the picture above).

This also explains why I don’t like fingerless gloves, sun visors, tiny backpacks that can only hold a coin purse, and decorative zippers. They’re all useless.

It was like a cloud had lifted and everything made sense, especially some of my past outfits that seemed so good in my imagination but I’d never really felt comfortable in: the wool scarf worn as a belt with a kilt pin; the t-shirt with vest fronts attached to make it look like a real vest from the front, but it just looked like a t-shirt from the back; the two button-down shirts worn together for a double collar effect…

I hope I can remember this moment of realisation the next time I’m standing in front of my wardrobe wondering if I can pull off a two skirt, scarf and three singlet look (not that that’s happened before!)

4 comments:

sahm said...

ROFLMAO .. so many moments I can idenitfy with PJ .. I think it was the 80's that started it all ... I went downhill there for awhile. Thank goodness I seem to be making much more wiser decisions now.

PJ said...

Yes, that's what I say to myself as I walk out the door sahm...I'm sure 20 years down the track I'll look back and cringe!

Slinky Redfoot said...

3 singlets - doesn't it cease to be a singlet after 2?

PJ said...

Hee, hee Slinky (can I call you just Slinky?) I love how you can pack so much wit into so few words. Thanks for popping by.