Thursday, July 06, 2006

Lessons from Trent, Mum and the MAC man

A lady on the train yesterday was wearing a shade of bright red lipstick that was totally wrong for her complexion and hair colour. This got me thinking about fashion and grooming advice I’ve learnt over the years, which I will share with you, starting with how I found my perfect red lipstick.

  • Finding the perfect red lipstick is a task I believe needs to be left up to the experts. My epiphany came with a visit to my local MAC counter, where a lovely man took one look at my face, exclaimed “Debonnet” (the name of the colour) and produced a lipstick that was so right I was speechless. “You see,” he said “you and I have the same colouring and this is the shade I use.” The moral here is that if a gay man with the same colouring as you has gone to all the trouble of finding the perfect red for himself, it will undoubtedly be right so why question it?

  • Working out the relationship between the length of your jacket and skirt is an equation almost as useful as e=mc2 (I said almost, ok?) An article written by Trent Nathan a few years ago set it all straight for me: the longer the skirt, the shorter the jacket and vice versa. The goal is to divide your body into thirds and work with proportions. It really works.

  • Self love and that obtuse celebrity catchcry “comfortable in my own skin” (what the hell does that mean anyway?) is all very well and good but you need to be realistic. Know your flaws and keep them to yourself. Mothers are a good source of this information and if more people listened to them less people would be walking around with inappropriate skinny leg jeans. You are not Kate Moss.

  • Shine your shoes and repair them regularly. This isn’t a revelation of Da Vinci code proportions, but I’m constantly surprised at the state of some people’s shoes – it can ruin a perfectly gorgeous outfit.

  • Finally, stockings are not your enemy. Don’t worry about what the models are doing on the runway – those fashions are deliberately whacky to attract media attention – some outfits and times of year require your legs to be covered, if only so you don’t end up with mottled blue legs (don't even get me started on the whole naked foot in a closed shoe topic, yuk.)

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