Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Bleary eyed and confused

A while ago I bought a collagen filler wrinkle cream in the hope that it could plump up the fine lines that are just starting to appear under my eyes. Most of the time you can’t even see them and they’re not even proper wrinkles yet. In hindsight, this explains the startling results.

It started with the odd “you look tired today”, comments from my colleagues and then one day I caught my reflection on a train window and scared the crap out of myself. My eyes were so puffy I looked like I was retaining more water than James Spader in recent times. I was downright haggard.

I maintained my routine over the next few days, increasing my water intake, cutting out alcohol and food preservatives, thinking my wretched appearance was a result of poor nutrition. My eyes were still bloated and even strangers started to notice, inquisitively at first, before coming to the conclusion that I was hung-over from (a) alcohol or (b) crying all night over a boyfriend.

After a couple of weeks, it finally dawned on me the culprit was the wrinkle filler (yes, I tend to catch on late). The cream was swelling my entire under eye area and giving me bags bigger than the ones Nicole Ritchie carts around. I was extremely relieved because I was one step away from buying myself some haemorrhoid cream to shrink the bags I’d artificially created and who knows how that experiment would have ended…

I’ve now relegated the wrinkle filler to my second drawer, which is where my partly used lotions and potions hang out until they're either given to a friend with the right skin tone and hair type, or thrown out when I can no longer look at them.

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